Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Why Moving On Sometimes Hurt


Moving on is not something that can be done overnight.  It’s a phase that starts with a choice:  a decision to do so.  For some people, it takes a shorter time, for some it takes a longer period.   

Usually, the most heartbreaking sight is seeing the other person move on sooner than you.  This is because even if you still want to fight and do everything to make the relationship work… against your will, you were  compelled to give up.  

The reason why seeing someone move on hurts so bad is usually because of two things:
(1) It makes one feel that he or she was left behind
(2) It makes one question his/her worth, because the other one opted to give up, instead of doing everything to make a relationship work. 


So for those of you who are on the brink of "letting go" and "moving on", if you never shared a strong bond with the other person, I'm not going to stop you.  Go ahead.  Let go and move on.  I would even suggest you do it now.  But if the person means so much to you or if at some point in your life that person was very close to you, think twice, thrice, four times... reflect on it everyday.  Especially if the other person is doing everything to make the relationship work.  You may not have to be together again as lovers but that doesn't mean you can't be good friends.


And oh, by the way, in doing any of what I suggested, have a heart to heart talk with the person first: a heart to heart talk that is completely absent of any pretensions (this is usually the process missed in moving on and letting go).  Say what you really felt and currently feeling.  Share your fears and yes... reveal your vulnerability (after all, you've shown your "strong" side probably for a long time already)

And yes of course, pray. 

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Why Fear?

Do not let the fear of pain or failure consume you. Have faith in yourself and believe that God is always guiding you. Do not fear. In those moments when you feel that you're losing your sense of direction, rest assured that God will shepherd you back.

Monday, November 14, 2011

51 Facts about Girls

A lot of my friends, especially the guys, say that girls are hard to comprehend. But come to think of it, girls and guys think and feel almost the same way. I did a quick test by making a response to the 51 Fact About Guys that flooded my newsfeed about two weeks ago (occasionally, it still pops in my feed).

It only took me about less than an hour, cause for almost all of the items, I just had to do the Find and Replace. Well yes, granted that guys and girls are not exactly the same (I did some revisions in about three or five statements), but for the majority, it was mere find and replace.

For reference, the list of 51 Facts About Guys, check this out: -http://www.likeyou.me/index.php/living/51-facts-about-guys/834/


1. Girls hate bastards and playboys.

2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases girls open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Girls may be talking to other guys all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the guy they truly care about.

4. Before they call, girls try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once she's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as she goes.

5. Girls go crazy over a guy's smile.

6. Girls will do anything just to get you to notice her.

7. Girls hate it when you talk about your ex-girlfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-him-complain-to-you-and-then-have-him-realize- how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

8. A girl who likes you wants to be the only girl you talk to.

9. Girlfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

10. Don't talk about your girl friends to your girlfriend.

11. Girls get jealous easily. Well guys already know this.

12. Girls are much much more emotional than they'd like people to think.

13. Giving a girl a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make her jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And she'll assume she did something wrong and she'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

14. Girls are sweet flatterers but they are usually speechless when they talk to a guy they really like.

15. Girls also save money to buy presents for the guy they like. They don’t mind spending more than their shopping allowance
16. Guys are girls' weaknesses.

17. Girls are very open about themselves.

18. It's good to test a girl first before you trust her. But don't let her wait too long. She’s just waiting for your move.

19. Your best friend, whom your girlfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may will never be admired by your girlfriend. They would just become close.

20. If a girl tells you about her problems, she just needs someone to listen to her. You don't need to tell her that she did something wrong. She knows that already.

21. A usual act that proves that the girl likes you is when she starts fishing when you talk to other girls.

22. Girls love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

23. Girls will listen to all the bragging of the guy she likes.

24. Girls use words like hot or cute to describe girl. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you.

25. Girls think WAY too much. One small thing a guy does, even if he doesn't notice it can make the girl think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

26. Girls seek for advice not only from girls but also from other guys. Because most girls think alike and the guys also think alike, so if one girl's confused, then we're all confused.

27. Any girl could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but girls find it hard to write out a book about relationships.

28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.

29. A girl has to experience rejection, because if she's never been in love and hurt, she won't be mature and grown up.

30. If the girl does something stupid in front of the guy, she will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time she spends time with the guy.

31. No matter how much guys talk about abs and biceps, personality is key.

32. Girls learn from experience not only from the romance books that girls read.

33. Girls worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being led on.

34. If a girl looks unusually calm and laid back, she's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

35. When a girl says she likes a guy, she means it big time. Girls find it hard to tell a guy that she likes him.

36. When a girl asks you to leave her alone, she's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

37. Girls find it hard when a guy can’t make a decision

38. If a girl starts to talk seriously, listen to her. Something that is breaking her heart is up.

39. If your best girl friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your girlfriend, she's probably jealous and likes you.

40. When a girl looks at you for longer than a second, she's definitely thinking something.

41. Girls like chivalry not chauvinism.

42. Girls don't like guys who punch softer than they do.

43. A girl has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

44. Don't be a snob. Girls gets heartbroken and give up easily.

45. Everything in moderation. You can drink, you can play your DOTA. Just not too much.

46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys. But girls have more girls night out than guys (plus those talks in the restroom) so more or less guys and girls are even.

47. Girls hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

48. Girls really think that guys are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

49. A girl would give her left ovary or her right boob to be able to read a guy's mind for a day.

50. No girl can handle all her problems by her own. She's just too stubborn to admit it

51. Not all girls are bitches. Just because ONE is a slut doesnt mean she represents ALL of us.



Sunday, November 13, 2011

Closing cycles by Paulo Coelho

Closing cycles


One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.
You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister.
Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.
Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.
Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.
Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”
Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.
Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need.
This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.
Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

Thursday, November 03, 2011

All of us were born with one ultimate purpose in life: To Love. 

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Against Their Will...

Sometimes, people keep their distance not because they have totally forgotten about you... but only because they have decided to give you exactly what you want: they gave you time, they gave you space... even if it devastated them.


Monday, October 17, 2011

Love Is My Best Birthday Gift

On the eve of my 30th birthday, I cried... but not due to despondence but because of bliss.  

Experiencing the Holy Spirit... that was Daddy God's birthday gift for me on my 30th birthday... plus the assurance that I am so much loved.

I am loved by my children.  I'm blessed to have my kids even at an early age because Raisha and Andy are so sweet, kind and loving.  Sometimes, it's hard being a single mom.  But to experience their love and to witness how they love each other is more than enough reason for me to be thankful that God chose me to be their mother.

I am loved by my family.  We may have had our differences, but I know how much my family loves me, most especially my parents.  My pain is their pain.  Our support system could not be easily shaken.  In my weakest points, I was strengthened by the warmth of their embrace and the assurance that they'll all be there for me no matter what.

I am loved by my friends.  They are like the extension of my family.  Not only were they there to party with me during those Friday nightouts, but they were also there to listen to my repetitive rants.  In every heartbreak they were there to remind me that it's more of the guy's loss.  Lolz!

Time will come, a guy out there will fall in love with me and accept me wholeheartedly for who I am and for who I was.  My heart may not have been spared from heartache, but that's no excuse for me to give up.  I may not be meant for those guys who broke my heart or whose hearts I have broken, but my heart is meant for someone.  I know in time, our roads will meet.

Yes, I am loved. :)  I am so much loved.  I may be single right now but I'm loved by the people I treasure the most.

Daddy God, thank You so much for letting me celebrate Your love by experiencing it through the love of my family and friends.  In turn, I promise to love them, just like how much You love them. 

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The reason why smart people are smart is because they have open minds.

While most people allow themselves to be caged inside the certainties of orthodox ideologies, smart people break free and succumb to the lure of their own curiosity.  They dare face the risk of failure, because they know that they'll eventually find their way out.

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Before Deciding...

You never lose someone by loving them... usually, you lose someone by holding back. Yes, in some cases, letting go is the better choice... but before you do so, think twice. :)

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Developing Strength

I used to think that with the right willpower, everything is possible... but this year, I realized that it's not always the case... Although you may develop your strength by fighting back, but in some cases you develop it by embracing defeat.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Washing The Face Off

Whether we admit it or not, the way we present ourselves to this world is dependent as to whom we're interacting with. Of course, we tend to flaunt a much prim behavior in the presence of authority or when situation deems flirtation is necessary. Both men and women wear this "makeup" during the first interactions. Indeed, the passion to impress is innate in humans. But to wear that impressive mask may be tiring at some point.

When a relationship reaches a certain comfort level, the previously repressed persona becomes more apparent. For some, the significance of the difference is so drastic, hence the reason why we usually hear some people utter the phrase, "You've changed."

People changing may not always be the case. More often than not, that's the real them. You weren't just able to notice that before because they were wearing a mask... and come to think of it, it's also possible that your own mask partially blocked your view.

Constant Companion

I love the security that companionship brings. Nothing compares to the joy of being with those people you love like family, friends and colleagues. But nevertheless, it's inevitable reality that people in our lives come and go... even family.

In our lifetime, our one constant companion is actually no other than ourselves. Therefore, more than anything else, one of the most important relationships we need to develop and cherish is that relationship with "self".

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Last Day

Always treat a day as if it's your last day. Before you let go of an opportunity, think of the possibility that there might be no next times.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Letter to Cupid

Dear Cupid,

I hope these two things are not too much to ask:

(1) Get your eyes checked
(2) Practice your aim

Thanks.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Dont' Get Left Behind

People who opt to dwell in the past and not move on usually gets left behind.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Slicing the Pie

Living life is always 100%... although learn to accept that nothing will be divided in equal proportion. Finding the perfect balance is so hard to achieve that some looks at it as an almost impossible mission. But come to think of it, you can always tweak the ratios of your priorities. So it’s just a matter of how creative you are in slicing the pie.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

You Won't Necessarily Get What You See...

Do not believe everything you see, for you may find yourself trapped in the fallacy of your own perception... whatever their depth, not a single ocean is really blue.

Keeping My Sanity from Friday to Saturday

On a typical Friday, I’m out with my friends: it’s like my way of “keeping my sanity intact”. Depending on what my friends feel like doing, I would either have coffee or dinner… or grab some booze and enjoy the heat of the dance floor. My friends know how to party and we usually finish Saturday early morning. Thankfully, my parents don’t mind it. They understand that my Fridays are mine and whenever I’m lucky, I also get Saturday and Sunday nights as bonus, too. Well for them it’s OK, as long as I fulfill my motherly obligations… so what more can I ask for? ;)
But some Fridays, just like today, is different. I went home early.

I was supposed to be in a Girl’s Night Out after my team’s dinner, but then a lot of the girls handed over their rain checks earlier this day. Normally, I would ask my other friends where they are so I could kind of tag along with them. But because I was dragging three bags with me, including a laptop… I told myself, forget it. I’m heading home.

I checked the clock when I got home… t’was an hour before midnight. That’s uncommon… very much uncommon pour moi.

I already felt a bit sleepy awhile ago, so I started with my evening rituals…inside my bedroom, I unraveled my messy bun and ran my fingers through the locks; for a few seconds, I allowed myself to be enamored by the sweet curls that the bun has set. I then went to my dresser and grabbed a tube of serum: I like it better compared to moisturizers because I find it less oily. I traced the serum unto my face and enjoyed how its coolness caressed my skin.

I went out of my bedroom. All corners of our house were silent as I was the only one awake.

I peeked inside my parents’ room; my kids would usually sleep there because my room doesn’t have an A/C. The kids are sound asleep… Andy was literally sleeping on the naked floor, leaving the futon abandoned. Raisha was all curled up inside the comforter, probably feeling cold again.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed a pack of M&Ms. I also grabbed a bagel and a small banana. I’m all set for my midnight snack.

Before heading back to my room, I passed by our library and grabbed a book to read. I’ve decided to read Paulo Coelho’s “By The River Piedra, I Sat Down And Wept” over again. I love this book so much. It has its certain depth that will make you reflect. Paulo is a very impressive author, I think I got all his books but I’m more inclined to reading his works related to love. I’m a hopeless romantic after all.

Also in our library, is my favorite corner: my computer area. Hence, I decided to turn it on and compose a blog, just to make sure I don’t suffer from another writer’s block.

In a jiffy, I’ll be going back to my room and read a book until I fall asleep… Tonight (or should I say this Saturday morning?), that’s how I’m going to keep my sanity intact.

Sunday, August 07, 2011

Time and Too Much of It

Taking your time to think before doing something may be a good idea... but taking too much of your time is a whole different story...


Sweetness and delectability can be attained by waiting for a raw fruit to ripen... but not consuming it once ripe merely exposes it to rotting.

A Thread of Goodbyes

When you treasure someone so much, it’s really hard to part ways with them. It’s hard to say goodbye to the people you hold dear. It’s hard to say goodbye if you have learned to treasure their presence. But sometimes, life compels us to let go of them… even if we’re not ready. It’s quite heartbreaking, but it has to be done.

The second half of this year has let me witnessed a series of goodbyes.

In tears, I gave these people probably one of my warmest embrace, knowing that it may take a while before I can do so again. Every once in a while, when I remember them, I still feel a pinch of loneliness… how I wish that they’re still within my arms reach. When I see things that remind me of them, I suddenly feel a film nostalgic breeze.

I remember those moments when they officially said goodbye… when they said that they have to go… Helplessly, I cried… and cried… and cried. These people were like second parents to me. Some of them I treat almost like brothers and sisters.

When I find myself remembering how they broke to me the news, I can’t help not to ask myself… ‘Why am I always the one who is left behind?’

I know it’s not exactly goodbye because time will come, I will see them again… but this is for sure, I will forever treasure the moments I shared with them... I'm going to miss them… so much.

I know things will no longer be the same again, but they will always have a special place in my heart.

Saturday, August 06, 2011

Love vs. Zombies

Ang pag-ibig ay parang Plants VS. Zombies: Kahit anong pambabakod ang gawin mo, mga mga asungot pa ring sisirain ang diskarte mo. At pag dumating ang puntong wala ka nang bala o pangharang, lalamunin ka nang buhay habang wala kang kalaban-laban.

"Love is like the game, Plants vs. Zombies: No matter how much you try to make your defense sturdy, there would still be some who will attempt to ruin your strategy. And when it comes to the point that you have ran out of defense, they would consume you alive while you lay helpless."

Monday, July 04, 2011

How to Treat A Woman

I read this from somewhere and thought of sharing it with you...

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters?

She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold ...onto her and give her the most you can.

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give.

Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there."

Monday, June 27, 2011

True Form of Love

“Love should prevail among all things, that’s what they say.

But in most failed relationships, love may have been there at first, but it faded with time… fear prevailed… pride prevailed.

People fail to give love a chance out of fear of getting hurt or hurting someone. But come to think of it, the choice of not falling in love also brings the possibility of someone getting hurt.

Why fear getting hurt? The pain is a reminder that loving is a sacrifice. Granted that at some point it may bring us pain… granted at some point love will stab our hearts with devastation and grief; only if we find courage to give it a chance, the same love will ignite our dying feelings and rekindle it with ultimate bliss.

Silence, to some extent, is the voice of pride. We choose not to say things assuming that our feelings are not mutually shared. We choose not to say anything at all. We always expect something in return, that when there’s a risk of leaving empty handed, we give up the fight altogether. It’s like wanting to win the lottery, but opting not to bet because the chance is slim.

Loving someone is a risk worth taking. We may not be loved back, at least we made that someone feel loved.

It’s quite sad how loving someone is seen as a weakness… It’s quite unfortunate how some people see falling in love as vulnerability. Love is one of the most powerful emotions that a human being can experience.

Love is not a weakness.

Love overcomes the fear of getting hurt. It is courage.

Love accepts and continues loving even if the feelings are not mutual. It is humility.

Love is not vulnerability. Love is strength.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Chains

It’s so hard to express what you feel when you think that some things are better off unrevealed… unspoken words are chains that bind us. And from these chains, sometimes it's so hard to break free...

It is only when we free ourselves from these chains... only then that we can say that freedom is in our hands.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Question Mark

I wonder what's in store for me tomorrow, the next day, next week, next month, next year... We never know what the future holds. All I know is that we always have to prepare ourselves. No one can stop time. Tomorrow is inevitable. Even if we cherish all things happening now, there would still be a risk that they will end at one point. Every single day, we come across people: some become our friends, others remain strangers. They come into our lives for a reason, a reason that unravels itself at the right time. Occasionally, we find ourselves facing circumstances that test our stability... circumstances that shake our grounds... circumstances that attempt to pull us down... I guess they're right when they said that shit happens. It's so hard not to be worried about the future. But come to think of it: each day offers a unique gift to all of us... so why fret?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The longer you stay down on your fall...

I fell down the stairs a while ago... it was a nasty fall.

But then, after that fall, I told myself that I had to stand up. I mean, the longer I stayed there on the floor, the longer I would look stupid... Just like in living this life. ;-p

Thursday, February 10, 2011

More Than That

I’m not exactly a cynical lover. Don’t get it all mixed up. Though I would stick to my stand that not all love stories end in happily-ever-after, but that doesn’t mean we’re all doomed to drown in despondence.

I still believe that someday, somewhere, I will be led to that crossroad where I and my soul mate will meet and there would be an instant connection. No, not exactly love at first sight, but there will still be a connection. We’ll share similar interests, giving us the opportunity to connect deeper. And at the same time, we’ll find ourselves seeing through our differences... We’ll fall in love.

Right now, I don’t know who he is… when, where or how we will meet. But I’m confident that I will meet him. I choose not to lose hope.

The feeling of loving and being loved are the greatest gifts we could give to ourselves. So why should I deprive myself? ;-p

Loving is not weakness. To love is to embrace the most powerful force that one can experience. And we will all succumb to that force… amidst our clamor to resist.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Sad Reality

It’s quite unfortunate that love, no matter how precious, is drowned in the negativities brought about by fear, pride and indifference. And alas, most of us let it happen.

Rejection is what we usually fear and we sacrifice the love that we could give just to nurse that fear. Out of pride, most people keep their feelings to themselves, depriving them the chance to discover how capable they are of loving a special someone.

But can we blame them? I think not.

We have come into that generation, where falling in love is almost a twin of heartbreak. More and more people find themselves getting hurt as they enter commitments. And for some, they are led to bitter endings.

Although feelings may fade, the memories linger: the memories of broken trusts… the memories of burning passion cooling off… the memories of being left behind… And sometimes, I can’t help not to ask… was it really love that took place?

Love, at its ultimate form, is one of the most powerful weapons. It ignites passion. It strengthens bonds. It can heal painful memories. If only we allow ourselves to experience that ultimate form, love will surpass all negativities.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

When Change Becomes Too Much

I’ve witnessed how people change as their hearts break. They learn to take control and tame their strong emotions. But then, before they realize it… they morph into cold stoic creatures, with dense and almost frozen hearts.