Healing By Death

Part of healing includes our acceptance that things, some of which we hold dear, need to be destroyed… especially if these things would either impede or hold us back from moving forward.

So far, what I find the hardest thing to destroy is love: because everytime I try to sever my love for others, I tend to leave a scratch in my self-love as well. And the more I try to rip it off, the more injuries I inflict to myself. With this I realized that I don’t necessarily have to destroy “love”. Instead, what I need to destroy are the emotions that weaken me when I love… the emotions that cloud my focus when I love. Cause contrary to what most people think… Love does not make fools out of us… it’s those negative emotions that we lose control of that make us daft.

Love, like fragile gems, is so pristine and precious… that once our hearts experience it, our hearts refrain to let it go. But soon I realized, that more than letting go, what our hearts need to accept is death... death of feelings… because only through death that will one be reborn. Death is crucial for rebirth to take place.

Death does not necessarily mean our ultimate demise but merely a momentary sojourn in our lives. And just like our physical bodies… our souls suffer prior to their “death”... sufferings comprised of our agonies and grievances… our frustrations and regrets… our doubts and insecurities… our fears… all brought upon by our pride and mistakes.

Healing begins with the death of pride to pave way to the birth of humility. We need to accept the fact that we are not gods, and are destined to commit mistakes as we stubbornly formulate our human decisions… decisions that kill and hasten the deaths of our souls. Mistakes will forever be left not rectified should they remain to be unrecognized. Embracing the reality that we err entitles our soul to the precious gift of second lives.

Time and circumstances taught me how to suffer in silence. I have come to realize that our eyes need not reveal all the tears that our hearts shed. Learning it wasn’t a walk in the clouds, but soon enough I realized that yes, it can be done. It called the need of embracing the pains inflicted by intangible wounds... wounds that I, myself, have caused. And soon enough, I realized that it wasn’t time that healed my wounds… but rather, self-forgiveness. Time merely made the wounds turn into scars, but it was forgiveness that healed them.

I have come to realize that healing is a spiritual process weaved by the threads of "births" and "deaths": a vicious cycle that will never end... and as long as we live... there would be a need for us to be healed...

Sparing Chance From The Murder Of Fear

Fear, I daresay, is the nemesis of Chance.

Each time we nurse our fears and apprehensions, we deprive ourselves that chance to grow… that chance to succeed… that chance to love… Fears trap us in these invisible boundaries; it lures us to set unreasonable limitations to ourselves.

How many times do you find yourself hesitant to immerse in a circle just because of your fear of rejection?
How many times do you find yourself thwarted to aim the peak just because of your fear of failure?
How many times do you find yourself meticulously measuring all your moves to meet social standards and expectations just because of your fear that your difference will be ridiculed?
How many times do you find yourselves complacently embracing the certainties that present brings just because of the fear that the ambiguity of the future creates?
How many times do you find yourself surrendering the bond that love creates just because of your fear of getting hurt or hurting someone else?

We are all confined in a chamber filled with qualms and worries: suffocated by our own doubts and reservations. And before we know it, that chamber is already full of negativities that we begin to drown in our own paranoia.

Pre-empted with fear, we dare not move and merely rely on someone else to guide us out of hell. Alas, most people think this way… hence the reason why no one is saved. Oftentimes, we are merely followers waiting for a leader to initiate that first step. In silence, we pray that somebody else will assume that messianic role. But the question is, why wait for someone else?

Fear usually begins when we lose faith in ourselves. It is the darkness that blinds us from seeing our true capabilities. It is the wall that hinders us from realizing the better chances and opportunities that we could give to ourselves.

Doors of endless opportunities will forever remain shut unless we reach out and open these doors. Without us knowing, the key lies deep inside our hearts. And to open this, we need to surpass all our fears: our fear of rejection… our fear of failure… our fear of uncertainties…

Indeed, our future is comprised of a lot of unknowns, but we have the choice to face it with fear… or with confidence and hope. Fear encourages us to remain stagnant in where we stand, while hope inspires us to move forward and grow and give ourselves that very chance that could change our lives.

Give yourself the chance to be welcomed by surpassing your fear of rejection…
Give yourself the chance to succeed by surpassing your fear of failure…
Give yourself that chance to stand out by surpassing your fear of ridicule…
Give yourself that chance to love and be loved by surpassing that fear of pain…
Give yourself the chances that fear has deprived you of.