When Blog Taps Into Your Conscience

I'm dying to blog something, but I know I can't do it. I know that once I do so, some people might get hurt. It's just frustrating.

Because I love writing, this is supposed to be my therapy. But alas, each time a post an entry, this blog is tapping to my conscience. As much as the bitch in me would want to rant my heart out, the sprite in me thwarts me from doing so.

My body is about to give in: my fingers are shaking... my eyes are twitching...

Aaarrrgh! Control yourself, Frankie.

Hey, maybe that's it. Maybe that is where the therapy kicks in. All my life I failed to think of the feelings of others; but through this blog, I'm starting to become more considerate of their emotions.

The Wrong Things Women Do For Love

This is the website that I created when I was still pregnant with Raisha... that's roughly 5 or 6 years ago.

http://www.geocities.com/kiky4199/index.html

After reading it, you may have realized how pathetically in love I was with her father. Sad to say, rather than reciprocating it to the same extent, he did otherwise. For a while, I told myself that he would change. Lo and behold, he became worse. I taught myself to be numbed by pain brought upon by this reality, but it came to a point that I got fed up already.

Well obviously, our relationship didn't have a happily-ever-after ending. I, yes, it was I, who broke up with him. If I elaborate, you'll realize that I have all the reasons to do so, but to give my daughter the respect due to her, I'll skip the details.

I wrote this blog for my friends who are so obsessed with their good-for-nothing boyfriends. I already made one before, but, as you may have noticed, my first blog was deleted (well, I deleted it, actually).

When you fall in love with someone, it seems like your life will end the moment your relationship with him ends. HEL-LO?! You survived half of your life sans that asshole!

I'm not saying that all men, in general, are bastards. More than half of my friends are men. I'm thankful that they treat me well. Some of them put their women in the pedestal. For some however... well, I'm just thankful I'm not their girlfriends.

A lot of them are actually surprised with my outlook in life. They would always tell me, that I don't sound anything like their girlfriends (yes, with an S!). Cause as some of you may have already known by now, I'm not actually the type of GF who investigates and spies on her bf.
Honestly, if they would ask me a few years ago, I may still sound like their GFs, probably even worse than them. But hey, I have 101 reasons not to be like such anymore.

I always keep in mind what my mother used to tell me: love your man by maintaining a slim distance from him. When a woman puts a silver lining between her and her man, it makes the man long for her much more. In a nutshell, what I'm trying to say is, live your own life, girl. Don't allow yourself to become a shadow of your guy... make your man be the one to get that lining out of the way.

Change is the only permanent thing in this world. With this, it is safe for me to say, that there is at least a 1% possibility, that you will still not end with the guy who snagged you. With the obvious threat of divorce, marriage is no longer your sanctuary. With that being said, take a good look of your bf, or your husband, cause that may be the last. (dan-dan-dan-dan!)
It really breaks my heart whenever I see my friends unable to go about their activities because their guys seem to be laser-tattooed in their minds. What's really more heart breaking is when they start to cry out of no reason. My sympathies to you, but Duh?!

Move on, girls. So what if your guy cheats on you? Then dump that guy and look for someone who doesn't. That was the road I travelled, and I'm so happy with that decision.

Paranoia won't do you any good. If you think he will not cheat just for you, you may want to think again. I will be the devil's advocate here... It may hurt to know the truth (well, reality bites, anyways), but believe me, there's a bigger chance that your guy does not love you as much as you think. Some men cheat knowing that you let them get away with it.

Oh, please don't get me wrong. This blog is not only for those cheating hearts. This blog is also dedicated for those girls who are stuck with BFs who think that the definition of future is just "tomorrow", and if you're lucky, it also includes "the day after tomorrow". This is also dedicated for those who have donned all shades of bruises from, green to blue to black, etc.

Just like what I said, I have a lot of guy friends. You should hear them whenever they have a get together. Sometimes, it really pisses the shit out of me, sometimes I just find myself laughing with them. Because honestly, some girls are just so desperate, they don't mind making a fool out of themselves just to check on their guys.

Girl, spare your sanity from the threat of obsession... spare your tears and wipe those mascara smudge goodbye! I made this blog not to break your hearts, but to open your mind to reality... this is what's really happening. Please, please, please... stop being a martyr. Being one is actually a stepping stone to obsession... is your guy really worth it?

Here's a hint, though... if you want to become a "for keeps"... give your guy a break. Yeah, I know you just love your beau so much, but that shouldn't be an excuse to put them in a short leesh. The last thing that a guy wants is another mother. He loved you as a girlfriend and not as a guardian, so be a girlfriend. Neither should you also tolerate the frustrated Manny Pacquiao in him. Just so you know, if he abuses you physically or even emotionally or psychologically, there is already a case that can be filed against him... heard about "Violence Against Women"?

And lastly, always keep in mind the golden rule: don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you. So, if you don't want your bf to give you a miserable life, don't give him one.

Abstract of Love

Ti's funny how in life, you learn to love someone; and yet, before you know it, you learn to hate the same person. Ho well, that's the bite of the bug we commonly know as love.

It's just sad. Friends, both old and new, got stories to tell me. And well, they're heartbreaking.
Maybe life is all that. Sometimes, you think that a person is meant for you, but then you realize that same person is the one you mean to forget. At first you think you're so much in love, but just because of fear, you stumble in shaky stones. You’re about to be convinced that you're looking into your soul mates eyes, but then you change your mind the moment someone gives you a wink. Ha, and you used to think you were so much in love...

How would you know how much you love someone? You will feel it not in your joyful days, but during those days of "trials". When that special someone doesn't love you the same way anymore, but you still find yourself waiting to be loved again.

Loving involves embracing the past, present and future of that person. Likewise, it entails sacrificing a part of you: to give space to the portion that your loved one is about to share. And yet, it doesn’t end there. Love is letting someone realize that you have worth and YOU, too, should be loved. Finally, the most important thing of all, your love should be unconditional.

Alas, man has put conditions, thus putting a limit to love. "I would only love you when..."... "I can't love you yet, because..." It is a sad reality, but it happens. A lot of relationships, both blossoming and tested strong, are broken, once these set into place.

Indeed, Love is a complex irony.

Love is precious, at the same time, fragile.

Love is not only your promise to that special someone, but also, your commitment to yourself.
Love is that abstract world where heaven and hell meet. One minute, we hope to stay in this "paradise" forever, the next second, we're desperate to get out.

In loving, you'll find yourself trapped in what seems to be a vicious cycle of bliss and agony; but still we take the risk and succumb to this addiction. Some people consider it foolish; I daresay we just never learn our lessons.

If love is such a splendid thing, then how come a lot of people are miserable in loving? To start it all with were they really in love in the first place?

Loving is hard because it is like a mustard seed. We sow it in one individual, and anticipate its growth. There’s nothing wrong with that, but sometimes, we want it to happen overnight. Definitely, it can be overwhelming.

Loving can also be tiring, when you don't feel that you are not loved in return. If you keep on loving even when you are not loved is not an example of unconditional love. That’s romantic suicide. Raise the white flag while there’s time. Your love story may not end in a happy ending, but at least you didn’t allow it to become your tragedy.

In loving, we will be bound to make some of our toughest decisions in life. Giving in... Letting go... Breaking someone's heart... etc. They're all part of loving. There will be instances that our love may bring joy to someone and devastation for others.

However, more than anything else, what would really matter is what we learn out of loving. In the end, it should make you a better person.

Anticipating Liberation

At first it may seem kind of weird how some people suddenly burst into tears for no apparent reason. I used to not understand them, until I found myself holding back my tears: desperate not to let go of a single drop. Alas, it was then that I realized that you can't escape from your own emotions. Yes, sometimes you may try to wallow in denial by pretending that everything's a-OK. Lo and behold, by the end of the day, it doesn't change anything. It will keep on hunting you no matter what.

You know that feeling when you suddenly remember something so devastating? It haunts you over and over again, and whenever you are reminded by that memory, you want to yell until your lungs are bone dry. It's just emotionally draining. It's like a vampire who feasts on your blood, and you’re so helpless because the prey is in you.

AAAAAARGH!!! Until when will it be like this? Desperately, you ask yourself. After which, you try to consult other people, not realizing that the answer is all up to you. My friend Pia Tayengco once used a tag in her Yahoo Messenger. I forgot the exact words, but the gist is all about man's tendency to give sound advices to other people, but finding himself lost and quite uncertain on how to handle his own dilemma. That statement was a definite bull’s-eye… even to me.

Just like what I said, I am not an exception. I also find myself occasionally staring at nothing, forgetting even to blink. After all, I’m also a mere human being bombarded with problems. With that, it is safe for me to reassure you that you are not the only one wishing for a better tomorrow.

Whoever said that living our lives will be a walk in the clouds? Some people just know how to face their problems better than the others. Believe me, day after day, you will encounter more challenges in life. It’s totally useless to expect that you’ll wake up one day worrying about nothing. If that happens, I would rather die because that day would be definitely a bore.
Overcoming an agonizing misery is not a piece of cake. You have to be determined to help yourself to break free from that tight spot. Your loved ones may counsel you, but the most important advice you should listen to is that whispered by your heart. The advices that your loved ones give you are mere supporting statements.

We are endowed with tears for a purpose. Allow yourself to cry, because it’s your soul’s way of cleansing. Each tear that you shed is a pain washed away from your heart. And once you’re down to your last tear, do not forget to smile. Everyone is at their finest whenever they beam their smiles. So go ahead, and flash those pearly whiles… and when you’re strong enough again, let this world hear your laughter.

Believe it or not, sources of happiness are everywhere. It just so happens that we are looking in the wrong places. Happiness can be attained not necessarily through tangible possessions. After all, happiness is an abstract word: it is a delicate emotion. You will never find happiness, because it is invisible. You can definitely feel it however, if you allow yourself to be liberated from angst.

It’s just a matter of applying the yin and yang philosophy in your life. If you can exhaust all your energy wallowing over something depressing, then without a doubt, you can impart the same amount of energy in celebrating your joyful memories that are worth to be cherished. The choice is all up to you. Would you rather look at your life as half empty or half full? If you think it is half full, and then what are you waiting for, go ahead and fill the other half. If you think it’s half empty, why did you let it happen in the first place?

With this, while your sanity is still intact, go ahead and make your day. Cry… smile… laugh. Your parents were joyous of your coming into being, so why shouldn’t you?

My Pallete Of Ideas About Marriage

MARRIAGE.

Dear me, I can't believe it. I was actually able to write that almost extinct word... properly spelled, mind you.

Nothing special, actually. It just so happens that I only see a few people committing to that sacrament nowadays. Well, some people pretend to be married, when the only thing that happened to them was to be wed.

Hey, please don't get me wrong. I'm just another lady who loves witnessing weddings and sighs in the idea of marriage. Alas, I'm not in daydream mode at the moment...

Frank Sinatra was right when he said that Love and Marriage go together like Horse and Carriage. He was wrong though when he said that you can’t have one without the other. Love can suffice without Marriage just like a Horse can live without a Carriage. Without a doubt though, Love is more meaningful with Marriage and Horse is more useful when it pulls a Carriage.

This blog is about that wonderful “Carriage” that adds purpose to the “Horse”: Marriage.

Marriage has a deeper meaning that a lot of people fail to reflect on. It entails more than the dream wedding in San Agustin Cathedral and the honeymoon in Europe. It is more than about imagining yourself spending your lifetime with your special someone and your would-be kids.

One should realize that conflict is one unavoidable fact in marriage… yet it is. A husband and his wife are two different individuals who are raised by two different families and grew up with their own circle of friends. With this in mind, it will normal for people to find themselves occasionally disagreeing with their partners. And no, it’s not about a question of your compatibility. A lot of people think that their marriage was a failure because they think that they are not compatible with their partners. Compatibility is just a mindset that we dictate to ourselves. Hence, you may ask, “why do some couples argue more often than the others?” There are several possible reasons: pride, a know-it-all personality, you think your partner is worthless, etc. (well honestly, if you are any of these, you will never be “compatible” with anybody).

Marriage does not and should not only revolve within the relationship between the man and woman. They should also consider the several other webbing relationships encompassing around: their relationship with their respective family and friends; their relationship with the family and friends of their partner; and most importantly, their relationship with themselves. More likely than not, they would find themselves in heated arguments should one of these relationships is taken for granted. As a matter of fact, this is one of the reasons why some marriage is jeopardized. One of the partners feels that they’ve given up a lot for the other… that their life only revolved around the other to a point that they’ve forgotten who they are.

I find it unfair against men when people stereotype and claim that men fear marriage. Man or no man, no one fears marriage per se. Rather, men actually fear their own egos. They are afraid that they will not be able to meet the expectations of their partners. I believe that men look at marriage as their “Happy-Ever-After” promise to their partner. And as long as they are unsure as to whether they can commit to that promise or not, they would opt to stay on the safe side.

Calasanz said that good people could create bad relationship even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. This is because they’re focusing on the wrong things. They look more into saving the relationship in general like spending more quality time or doing the things that they used to do. I’m not saying that this is the wrong move, but I think there’s a more effective way. To make a relationship work, they should always be engaging into new stuff that they haven’t done before or do not usually do (just to shake the ordinary routines). No matter how much effort you exert to spend more time with one another, if you are obviously bored with the company of one another… it’s just a daft useless effort.

I’m not married yet, but I’m happier compared to some married women who found themselves hitched with Casanovas and good for nothing assholes. I’m not married yet… but I don’t mind, cause I know it’s worth the wait.

Facing The Truth

I don't know what I did wrong, or maybe this PC is just a piece of crap. I created two blogs, and I think they were merely put to waste. They never appeared in my dashboard. I was waiting for a fat chance that one day I will see them again, but I guess, there's a slim chance for that.

While waiting for them to appear, I discovered another blog site. For a day or two, I posted some of my blogs in Friendsters there, but, blogger is blogger. It's like the Friendster version of blogs.

Hence, here I am again, migrating my posts to another blog. I find the Ebloggy user-friendly, so I will not delete that account yet. I already lost some of my blogs. As expected, I will not be able to post them here anymore, because I have totally forgotten what they were all about. I have already started posting some of my poetries in the Ebloggy. Most of the poems that I posted there were the poems I submitted in filipinowriter.com. Alas, for some odd reason, the site is down, crippling me from doing any transfers. In time, I will also migrate them here.

Some of you might ask why lasuijurissprite? Why Sprite's Odyssey?

La Sui Juris Sprite is actually me! My real name is Frances Angela. Frances and Sui Juris have the same meaning... the same goes true with Sprite and Angela. Odyssey is the term used in one of the classic epics. It means journey. I'm quite a dramatic person, so I also like drama in the words I choose.

Hence, the birth of my new blogspot... lasuijurissprite entitled A Sprite's Odyssey.