My Pallete Of Ideas About Marriage

MARRIAGE.

Dear me, I can't believe it. I was actually able to write that almost extinct word... properly spelled, mind you.

Nothing special, actually. It just so happens that I only see a few people committing to that sacrament nowadays. Well, some people pretend to be married, when the only thing that happened to them was to be wed.

Hey, please don't get me wrong. I'm just another lady who loves witnessing weddings and sighs in the idea of marriage. Alas, I'm not in daydream mode at the moment...

Frank Sinatra was right when he said that Love and Marriage go together like Horse and Carriage. He was wrong though when he said that you can’t have one without the other. Love can suffice without Marriage just like a Horse can live without a Carriage. Without a doubt though, Love is more meaningful with Marriage and Horse is more useful when it pulls a Carriage.

This blog is about that wonderful “Carriage” that adds purpose to the “Horse”: Marriage.

Marriage has a deeper meaning that a lot of people fail to reflect on. It entails more than the dream wedding in San Agustin Cathedral and the honeymoon in Europe. It is more than about imagining yourself spending your lifetime with your special someone and your would-be kids.

One should realize that conflict is one unavoidable fact in marriage… yet it is. A husband and his wife are two different individuals who are raised by two different families and grew up with their own circle of friends. With this in mind, it will normal for people to find themselves occasionally disagreeing with their partners. And no, it’s not about a question of your compatibility. A lot of people think that their marriage was a failure because they think that they are not compatible with their partners. Compatibility is just a mindset that we dictate to ourselves. Hence, you may ask, “why do some couples argue more often than the others?” There are several possible reasons: pride, a know-it-all personality, you think your partner is worthless, etc. (well honestly, if you are any of these, you will never be “compatible” with anybody).

Marriage does not and should not only revolve within the relationship between the man and woman. They should also consider the several other webbing relationships encompassing around: their relationship with their respective family and friends; their relationship with the family and friends of their partner; and most importantly, their relationship with themselves. More likely than not, they would find themselves in heated arguments should one of these relationships is taken for granted. As a matter of fact, this is one of the reasons why some marriage is jeopardized. One of the partners feels that they’ve given up a lot for the other… that their life only revolved around the other to a point that they’ve forgotten who they are.

I find it unfair against men when people stereotype and claim that men fear marriage. Man or no man, no one fears marriage per se. Rather, men actually fear their own egos. They are afraid that they will not be able to meet the expectations of their partners. I believe that men look at marriage as their “Happy-Ever-After” promise to their partner. And as long as they are unsure as to whether they can commit to that promise or not, they would opt to stay on the safe side.

Calasanz said that good people could create bad relationship even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. This is because they’re focusing on the wrong things. They look more into saving the relationship in general like spending more quality time or doing the things that they used to do. I’m not saying that this is the wrong move, but I think there’s a more effective way. To make a relationship work, they should always be engaging into new stuff that they haven’t done before or do not usually do (just to shake the ordinary routines). No matter how much effort you exert to spend more time with one another, if you are obviously bored with the company of one another… it’s just a daft useless effort.

I’m not married yet, but I’m happier compared to some married women who found themselves hitched with Casanovas and good for nothing assholes. I’m not married yet… but I don’t mind, cause I know it’s worth the wait.