Gift from Courage

Strength is the gift bestowed upon those who choose resilience over defeat. We should never let past hurts and losses haunt us through our future.

Grief and pain may burn us in torture, but like a phoenix we should let ourselves be reborn... Resurrection happens the moment we decide to go on with our lives, and embracing the wisdom of our experiences as we do so.

Motherhood and Pain

For every bleeding wound that a child inflicts, a mother's heart weep in pain. For every tear that a child sheds, a mother's heart slowly breaks. Mothers always feel the pain that their children suffer from... they just don't show it knowing that they need to be strong... cause a mother's strength is a child's salvation

Intelligence, wisdom and discernment are not exactly the characteristics that have been bestowed to all. Therefore the popular choice is not always the right choice. And the decision of the majority may not necessarily be the perfect solution. :)

It'll be difficult to have a firm grasp of happiness if you stubbornly hold onto the situations that make you sad.

Safe Player vs. Cautious Risk Taker

I could still remember a few years back, I can’t imagine where I would be at the age of 31.  All I know is that five years ago, three years ago, my mind was always clouded with worries.  I was so scared of a lot of things:  making mistakes, being blamed, getting hurt and crying all over again… those usual things associated with failure. 

Failure is a fact of life that I perceived to be as something that would weaken me.  So each time I sense its threat, it became a natural instinct for me to protect myself from the pain it might inflict. No matter how promising the rewards are on the other side, I step back and turn around at the sight of a singular uncertainty.  

Ideas may run through my mind, but I would stick to the dictates of books out of fear that I may do something wrong.   Little did I know that I would barely reap anything from that approach…. there will always be something inside me that clamors in attempt to break free.  And before I know it, I found myself bored with the repetitive nature of playing safe.  Hence, I made that first step and braved those horizons beyond my comfort zones.  I started taking risks, and boy did I do so!

In taking those risks, I realized that I was right all along:  In some of those times, I made mistakes… I got blamed… I got hurt… and yes I cried a lot… just like how I anticipated it.  You see, that’s the thing about taking risks, there will never ever be anything certain about it.   But taking risks will not always drag you to dystopia… some will actually lift you to that euphoric bliss.

Those mistakes you incur from taking risks will not pin you to your downfall.  You don’t fail in life because of those mistakes.  You fail because you decide not to try all over again.  A lot of things in our lives are cycles of trials and errors.  For most of us, we immediately stop at the first loop of error that’s why we never find out how to do things right.

Stop nursing your battle scars as if they’re still fresh wounds.  Shrug off the past and try all over again.  

Go ahead and take those risks like they're vitamins... be that cautious risk taker.  You owe it to yourself. J

We all fear change.  Often times, we would rather settle in a stagnant state amidst the meager benefits we reap out from doing so.  But fate will always find a way to drag us out of our comfort zones, with a pure intent of placing us in a much better situation. 

These too shall pass...

One thing I realized, no matter how serious a problem is, in time it will be over.  And in the end what really matters is that you stand up from that fall, and continue with your journey.  Life will go on no matter what happens.  

Reconnections

In most cases, you don’t exactly have to omit a person in your life.  You just have to let go of those negative feelings that your heart associate with that person.  Yes, sometimes, it may require the need to create a distance with the other just so you can find time to reflect on everything that happened.  

But time will come, you will find yourself thinking and longing for the company of that person.  When that happens, go ahead and reach out… and let go of the fear that something wrong will happen again this time around.  Who knows, that person was just waiting for you. :)J

Lost and Gained

For every heart break, you may lose the one you have loved, but you will gain lessons that will lead you to the one who will also love you in return. :)

On Loving and Improving Yourself

Loving usually comes with pain. Either your heart gets broken or you break someone’s heart.  But nothing good will come out should you hold grudges against the opposite sex…  in doing so, it would lead you to your own downfall.  Doing so would thwart you from realizing what is wrong with you.

Whether you’re a girl who started to hate guys or whether you’re a guy who started to despise girls, maybe it’s time to reflect.  Because most likely, if that’s your way of thinking… the problem is with you.   The moment you despise the opposite sex, you’re starting to lose one of the most important things in relationships:  respect.  And besides, how can love come into your life if your heart is filled with hatred and bitterness?

When relationships fail, both parties are at fault.  It’s useless to blame the other solely.  You have your own faults.  And as long as you don’t recognize your own faults, there’s a bigger possibility for the relationships you get into to fail.

Love is a give and take relationship.  Rather than nitpicking and making sure that your prospect is the perfect match for you, try looking into how you can improve yourself to be a good match for that person.  Rather than demanding... inspire.  Change yourself… for the better.  Rather than compelling others to change, it’s better to improve yourself first.  It’s for your own personal development . J

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!  Fill your hearts with love, it can make a big difference in your life. J

Why Moving On Sometimes Hurt

Moving on is not something that can be done overnight.  It’s a phase that starts with a choice:  a decision to do so.  For some people, it takes a shorter time, for some it takes a longer period.   

Usually, the most heartbreaking sight is seeing the other person move on sooner than you.  This is because even if you still want to fight and do everything to make the relationship work… against your will, you were  compelled to give up.  

The reason why seeing someone move on hurts so bad is usually because of two things:

(1) It makes one feel that he or she was left behind

(2) It makes one question his/her worth, because the other one opted to give up, instead of doing everything to make a relationship work. 

So for those of you who are on the brink of "letting go" and "moving on", if you never shared a strong bond with the other person, I'm not going to stop you.  Go ahead.  Let go and move on.  I would even suggest you do it now.  But if the person means so much to you or if at some point in your life that person was very close to you, think twice, thrice, four times... reflect on it everyday.  Especially if the other person is doing everything to make the relationship work.  You may not have to be together again as lovers but that doesn't mean you can't be good friends.

And oh, by the way, in doing any of what I suggested, have a heart to heart talk with the person first: a heart to heart talk that is completely absent of any pretensions (this is usually the process missed in moving on and letting go).  Say what you really felt and currently feeling.  Share your fears and yes... reveal your vulnerability (after all, you've shown your "strong" side probably for a long time already)

And yes of course, pray. 

Why Fear?

Do not let the fear of pain or failure consume you. Have faith in yourself and believe that God is always guiding you. Do not fear. In those moments when you feel that you're losing your sense of direction, rest assured that God will shepherd you back.

51 Facts about Girls

A lot of my friends, especially the guys, say that girls are hard to comprehend. But come to think of it, girls and guys think and feel almost the same way. I did a quick test by making a response to the 51 Fact About Guys that flooded my newsfeed about two weeks ago (occasionally, it still pops in my feed).

It only took me about less than an hour, cause for almost all of the items, I just had to do the Find and Replace. Well yes, granted that guys and girls are not exactly the same (I did some revisions in about three or five statements), but for the majority, it was mere find and replace.

For reference, the list of 51 Facts About Guys, check this out: -http://www.likeyou.me/index.php/living/51-facts-about-guys/834/

1. Girls hate bastards and playboys.

2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases girls open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Girls may be talking to other guys all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the guy they truly care about.

4. Before they call, girls try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once she's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as she goes.

5. Girls go crazy over a guy's smile.

6. Girls will do anything just to get you to notice her.

7. Girls hate it when you talk about your ex-girlfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-him-complain-to-you-and-then-have-him-realize- how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

8. A girl who likes you wants to be the only girl you talk to.

9. Girlfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

10. Don't talk about your girl friends to your girlfriend.

11. Girls get jealous easily. Well guys already know this.

12. Girls are much much more emotional than they'd like people to think.

13. Giving a girl a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make her jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And she'll assume she did something wrong and she'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

14. Girls are sweet flatterers but they are usually speechless when they talk to a guy they really like.

15. Girls also save money to buy presents for the guy they like. They don’t mind spending more than their shopping allowance
16. Guys are girls' weaknesses.

17. Girls are very open about themselves.

18. It's good to test a girl first before you trust her. But don't let her wait too long. She’s just waiting for your move.

19. Your best friend, whom your girlfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may will never be admired by your girlfriend. They would just become close.

20. If a girl tells you about her problems, she just needs someone to listen to her. You don't need to tell her that she did something wrong. She knows that already.

21. A usual act that proves that the girl likes you is when she starts fishing when you talk to other girls.

22. Girls love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

23. Girls will listen to all the bragging of the guy she likes.

24. Girls use words like hot or cute to describe girl. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you.

25. Girls think WAY too much. One small thing a guy does, even if he doesn't notice it can make the girl think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

26. Girls seek for advice not only from girls but also from other guys. Because most girls think alike and the guys also think alike, so if one girl's confused, then we're all confused.

27. Any girl could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but girls find it hard to write out a book about relationships.

28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.

29. A girl has to experience rejection, because if she's never been in love and hurt, she won't be mature and grown up.

30. If the girl does something stupid in front of the guy, she will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time she spends time with the guy.

31. No matter how much guys talk about abs and biceps, personality is key.

32. Girls learn from experience not only from the romance books that girls read.

33. Girls worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being led on.

34. If a girl looks unusually calm and laid back, she's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

35. When a girl says she likes a guy, she means it big time. Girls find it hard to tell a guy that she likes him.

36. When a girl asks you to leave her alone, she's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

37. Girls find it hard when a guy can’t make a decision

38. If a girl starts to talk seriously, listen to her. Something that is breaking her heart is up.

39. If your best girl friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your girlfriend, she's probably jealous and likes you.

40. When a girl looks at you for longer than a second, she's definitely thinking something.

41. Girls like chivalry not chauvinism.

42. Girls don't like guys who punch softer than they do.

43. A girl has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

44. Don't be a snob. Girls gets heartbroken and give up easily.

45. Everything in moderation. You can drink, you can play your DOTA. Just not too much.

46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys. But girls have more girls night out than guys (plus those talks in the restroom) so more or less guys and girls are even.

47. Girls hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

48. Girls really think that guys are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

49. A girl would give her left ovary or her right boob to be able to read a guy's mind for a day.

50. No girl can handle all her problems by her own. She's just too stubborn to admit it

51. Not all girls are bitches. Just because ONE is a slut doesnt mean she represents ALL of us.

Closing cycles by Paulo Coelho

Closing cycles

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.

You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister.
Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.

Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.

Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.

Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”

Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.
Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need.
This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

All of us were born with one ultimate purpose in life: To Love.