The longer you stay down on your fall...

I fell down the stairs a while ago... it was a nasty fall.

But then, after that fall, I told myself that I had to stand up. I mean, the longer I stayed there on the floor, the longer I would look stupid... Just like in living this life. ;-p

More Than That

I’m not exactly a cynical lover. Don’t get it all mixed up. Though I would stick to my stand that not all love stories end in happily-ever-after, but that doesn’t mean we’re all doomed to drown in despondence.

I still believe that someday, somewhere, I will be led to that crossroad where I and my soul mate will meet and there would be an instant connection. No, not exactly love at first sight, but there will still be a connection. We’ll share similar interests, giving us the opportunity to connect deeper. And at the same time, we’ll find ourselves seeing through our differences... We’ll fall in love.

Right now, I don’t know who he is… when, where or how we will meet. But I’m confident that I will meet him. I choose not to lose hope.

The feeling of loving and being loved are the greatest gifts we could give to ourselves. So why should I deprive myself? ;-p

Loving is not weakness. To love is to embrace the most powerful force that one can experience. And we will all succumb to that force… amidst our clamor to resist.

Sad Reality

It’s quite unfortunate that love, no matter how precious, is drowned in the negativities brought about by fear, pride and indifference. And alas, most of us let it happen.

Rejection is what we usually fear and we sacrifice the love that we could give just to nurse that fear. Out of pride, most people keep their feelings to themselves, depriving them the chance to discover how capable they are of loving a special someone.

But can we blame them? I think not.

We have come into that generation, where falling in love is almost a twin of heartbreak. More and more people find themselves getting hurt as they enter commitments. And for some, they are led to bitter endings.

Although feelings may fade, the memories linger: the memories of broken trusts… the memories of burning passion cooling off… the memories of being left behind… And sometimes, I can’t help not to ask… was it really love that took place?

Love, at its ultimate form, is one of the most powerful weapons. It ignites passion. It strengthens bonds. It can heal painful memories. If only we allow ourselves to experience that ultimate form, love will surpass all negativities.

When Change Becomes Too Much

I’ve witnessed how people change as their hearts break. They learn to take control and tame their strong emotions. But then, before they realize it… they morph into cold stoic creatures, with dense and almost frozen hearts.

To Make a Difference

People may come and go but as long as you made a difference in their lives, you will always be remembered. And no matter what, they will try to reconnect just to keep in touch with you.

Everytime you make someone feel special, you become special to them as well.

Exhausted

I’m tired. I’ve reached my limit...

Sometimes, it’s useless to hold on especially if you don’t have the strength to do so.

After all, even the Lord rested on the Sabbath… so who are we to exhaust ourselves?

The New February

Is Cupid rendering overtime? A lot of people seems to be lovestruck... kahit mga single kong friends... pasenti!

Since September, my friends would say, September is the new February. October came and they said the same thing. Lo and behold it's already December but nevertheless, the month wasn't spared from being tagged as the new February. February is a month with merely 28 days... 29 at most... how come the "new February" lasted for a trimester? Lolz.

After 8 years of celebrating Christmas with a special someone, I'm gonna celebrate it again being single this year. Am I lonely? Surprisingly, No. Probably because I know that no matter what, I'm still gonna celebrate it with the people who love me the most... my parents and my kids. This year was also more meaningful cause I found time catching up with friends. I likewise took the courage to widen my circle... sigh, all I can say now is that I should have done it sooner.

I love this feeling. I'm so grateful with the sense of security that my friends and family impart. I still feel so much loved that even if I don't have a special someone right now, the feeling of being in love remains in my heart.

Ye, in a way my friends are right... we can make everyday a Valentine's Day.

By the way, don't get me wrong. I know that Single Blessedness ain't my calling.

I'm not in a hurry, though. I'm taking my precious time... cherishing every single moment as I enjoy the perks of being single...then collecting, selecting, discarding (ahahahaha)... basta I'm enjoying... cause I know that in time, Cupid will no longer have to shoot me with his arrow, cause love is already overflowing in my heart... and it's just waiting to be shared with the right someone.



"But love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice, or a dozen times in our life, we always face a brand-new situation."

Paulo Coelho, By The River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept

Intimidated?

WHATEVER!

To hell with your inhibitions!

Besides, you'll reap nothing from them.

The Bitter Truth

Some people may seem to be strong: resilient and unaffected by the bruises that life has inflicted to them.

But sometimes, in silence, they still weep... though they opt not to show the tears that trickle down their cheeks. And from time to time, they ask themselves, until when can they hold the smiles that are weakly held by their shaking hearts?

Pandora's Box

PS. I Love You (A Letter For My Children)

My children, when you tell me that I don’t understand you… I actually understand. I’ve been a child myself once so I know how you feel. At your age, it is you who may not completely understand me. But don’t worry, time will come you will understand life the way I understood it.


Your education is probably the most expensive legacy that I could provide. Finish it no matter what. I may not be able to give you cars, but through your education, you’ll be able to find work and in time get a car of your own. I may not be able to give you your own house, or your own condo unit… but I’ll try to teach you how to make a home.

I’m sorry if every once in a while I get upset. I’m sorry if some of my words make you cry. Without you knowing, it breaks my heart when I hurt your feelings. But my children, sometimes, I have to hurt your feelings and make you strong than let you suffer in the end and get hurt by your own mistakes.

When I worry about you, it’s not because I don’t trust you. Trust me:, I trust you so much. It’s just that I care for you so much. Remember how you freaked out when I almost threw your stick drawings because you treasured them so much? You told me that they were your masterpiece… my children, you are my masterpiece.

As you grow up, do not stop dreaming. Continue aspiring. I will always be there to support you. Feel free to share them to me so we can dream and plan together.

Do not be too hard on yourself when you fail. Don’t give up. If you need help, always remember I’m at your side. I may not know everything, but I’m willing to learn them so that I could help you. If I’m not capable of learning it, I will cheer you until the end. I will cheer you and scream the loudest when you win. If at some point you still lose, I will still be your number one fan.

Some people may do you wrong. Even before they ask for an apology, learn to forgive them already. As long as you don’t, you will walk this earth with a heavy heart. As long as you don’t forgive, you’ll never find peace. And it will be hard for you to trust: to trust others and even to trust yourself. Learn to forgive so that you could move on and start anew.

Treat your friends like they’re your brothers and sisters. Feel free to introduce them to me. Let’s make our home their second home. I’ll even cook for them on weekends when they visit. I’ll be like a mom to them. We can even have a movie night at home during some weekends.

No matter how much you work for all things, learn to accept that you don’t get everything that you want. But time will come you’ll realize it’s for your own sake. In God’s time, He will enlighten you with the reason. Granted that you don’t get everything you want, that’s because God has better plans for you.

Finally, at the right time, fall in love, my children. Inspire and be inspired. After all, love, aside from life itself, is the best gift bestowed upon us. Treasure this gift. Cherish the bliss that this experience imparts. Always remember to love with all your heart. I know that doing so will put you to the risk of heartbreak. But that’s the true form of loving. And when that time comes when someone makes you cry, I’ll be there by your side and cry with you. I’ll cry with you until you find that someone who will also love you with all their heart. Believe me, my children; there is someone out there who will love you wholeheartedly. I loved with all my heart, and you, my children, are the fruits.

Hahahaha! It's funny how I say these things now in a different perspective. T'was just like yesterday, I was whining about the same things to your grandparents.

My children, as a person, I still have a lot to learn. I’m sorry if my shortcomings have affected how I raised you one way or another… for the meantime, please accept my unconditional love to make up for it.

Journey

What is the ideal way of journeying this life...

Occasionally, you may look back at your past, but don't step backwards... all your steps, amidst every stops and pauses, should lead to one direction... forward.

Roads and Journeys

We all dream of flawless roads, that we lose our composure when faced with unpaved terrains. Each path that we take… they have their own uniqueness: their own flaws and their own advantages. But they are mere roads… it is still we, who should control ourselves. Whoever said that we should allow dead-ends to be our final destination? We can always turn around, find our way back to where we started, and choose another road.

At one point in our lives, temptation lures us to surrender. But why give up, when you know you deserve something better? Every failure in our journey may etch scars… but they don’t kill us. Our decision not to push through: that’s what murders our souls... and alas, it is we who inflict this fate to ourselves.

We may dream of cobbled-stone streets with trees weaving their branches into arches… we may dream of floral carpeted prairies, complete with butterflies fluttering around. Indee, some roads may be pallor, dull and barren… but no one stops from planting seeds so flowers may soon bloom. It is always up to us.

Break free from the chains of fear, doubt and apprehensions… cause they slow you down. It is high time that we open our eyes, so that we may see that hope is patiently waiting in the end of the road. Letting go gives our soul the freedom and the chance to move on, so that we can soar the horizons where better opportunities dwell.

Life is a journey… let’s make it worthwhile… for our own sake.

Motherhood and Pain

For every bleeding wound that a child inflicts, a mother's heart weep in pain. For every tear that a child sheds, a mother's heart slowly breaks. Mothers always feel the pain that their children suffer from... they just don't show it knowing that they need to be strong... cause a mother's strength is a child's salvation.

Healing By Death

Part of healing includes our acceptance that things, some of which we hold dear, need to be destroyed… especially if these things would either impede or hold us back from moving forward.

So far, what I find the hardest thing to destroy is love: because everytime I try to sever my love for others, I tend to leave a scratch in my self-love as well. And the more I try to rip it off, the more injuries I inflict to myself. With this I realized that I don’t necessarily have to destroy “love”. Instead, what I need to destroy are the emotions that weaken me when I love… the emotions that cloud my focus when I love. Cause contrary to what most people think… Love does not make fools out of us… it’s those negative emotions that we lose control of that make us daft.

Love, like fragile gems, is so pristine and precious… that once our hearts experience it, our hearts refrain to let it go. But soon I realized, that more than letting go, what our hearts need to accept is death... death of feelings… because only through death that will one be reborn. Death is crucial for rebirth to take place.

Death does not necessarily mean our ultimate demise but merely a momentary sojourn in our lives. And just like our physical bodies… our souls suffer prior to their “death”... sufferings comprised of our agonies and grievances… our frustrations and regrets… our doubts and insecurities… our fears… all brought upon by our pride and mistakes.

Healing begins with the death of pride to pave way to the birth of humility. We need to accept the fact that we are not gods, and are destined to commit mistakes as we stubbornly formulate our human decisions… decisions that kill and hasten the deaths of our souls. Mistakes will forever be left not rectified should they remain to be unrecognized. Embracing the reality that we err entitles our soul to the precious gift of second lives.

Time and circumstances taught me how to suffer in silence. I have come to realize that our eyes need not reveal all the tears that our hearts shed. Learning it wasn’t a walk in the clouds, but soon enough I realized that yes, it can be done. It called the need of embracing the pains inflicted by intangible wounds... wounds that I, myself, have caused. And soon enough, I realized that it wasn’t time that healed my wounds… but rather, self-forgiveness. Time merely made the wounds turn into scars, but it was forgiveness that healed them.

I have come to realize that healing is a spiritual process weaved by the threads of "births" and "deaths": a vicious cycle that will never end... and as long as we live... there would be a need for us to be healed...