Love Abstract

One of my posts from an old blog... I can't believe this one is about 6 years old already.
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Ti's funny how in life, you learn to love someone; and yet, before you know it, you learn to hate the same person. Ho well, that's the bite of the bug we commonly know as love.

It's just sad. Friends, both old and new, got stories to tell me. And well, they're heartbreaking. Maybe life is all that. Sometimes, you think that a person is meant for you, but then you realize that same person is the one you mean to forget. At first you think you're so much in love, but just because of fear, you stumble in shaky stones. You’re about to be convinced that you're looking into your soul mates eyes, but then you change your mind the moment someone gives you a wink. Ha, and you used to think you were so much in love... 

How would you know how much you love someone? You will feel it not in your joyful days, but during those days of "trials". When that special someone doesn't love you the same way anymore, but you still find yourself waiting to be loved again. Loving involves embracing the past, present and future of that person. Likewise, it entails sacrificing a part of you: to give space to the portion that your loved one is about to share. And yet, it doesn’t end there. Love is letting someone realize that you have worth and YOU, too, should be loved. Finally, the most important thing of all, your love should be unconditional.

Alas, man has put conditions, thus putting a limit to love. "I would only love you when..."... "I can't love you yet, because..." It is a sad reality, but it happens. A lot of relationships, both blossoming and tested strong, are broken, once these set into place. Indeed, Love is a complex irony. Love is precious, at the same time, fragile. Love is not only your promise to that special someone, but also, your commitment to yourself. Love is that abstract world where heaven and hell meet. One minute, we hope to stay in this "paradise" forever, the next second, we're desperate to get out.

In loving, you'll find yourself trapped in what seems to be a vicious cycle of bliss and agony; but still we take the risk and succumb to this addiction. Some people consider it foolish; I daresay we just never learn our lessons. If love is such a splendid thing, then how come a lot of people are miserable in loving? To start it all with, were they really in love in the first place?

Loving is hard because it is like a mustard seed. We sow it in one individual, and anticipate its growth. There’s nothing wrong with that, but sometimes, we want it to happen overnight. Definitely, it can be overwhelming.

Loving can also be tiring, when you don't feel that you are not loved in return. If you keep on loving even when you are not loved is not an example of unconditional love. That’s romantic suicide. Raise the white flag while there’s time. Your love story may not end in a happy ending, but at least you didn’t allow it to become your tragedy.

In loving, we will be bound to make some of our toughest decisions in life. Giving in... Letting go... Breaking someone's heart... etc. They're all part of loving. There will be instances that our love may bring joy to someone and devastation for others. However, more than anything else, what would really matter is what we learn out of loving. In the end, it should make you a better person.

Right Time - Written By My Left Hand

"The Power of Your Other Hand", a book authored by Lucia Capacchione, explains that a person's non-dominant hand is a direct channel to inner potential. After reading the book, I taught myself to occasionally write with my left hand.

Soon enough, I discovered the power that lies hidden in my other hand. Sometimes, when I suffer from writer's block while writing with my right, I would switch to my left. More often than not, ideas begin to flow once again.

Soon, I learned that there's even more to that... your non-dominant hand may serve as the voice of your soul

With my right hand, I wrote my question: "How Would I Know When The Right Time Is?"

I grabbed the pen with my left hand. And before I know it, I answered my own question...

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You don't wait for the right time. You make it.

The longer you wait for the right time to come, the more you deprive yourself of a better situation. There's a fine line between waiting for the right moment and procrastination.

Patience does not wait helplessly in vain. Patience plans at present as it prepares for the future. Procrastination, on the other hand, does nothing. It relies on the promise of an uncertain future... ignoring the risk of failure brought about by complacence.

Success is the fruit reaped from the marriage of passion and sacrifice.

Gift from Courage

Strength is the gift bestowed upon those who choose resilience over defeat. We should never let past hurts and losses haunt us through our future.

Grief and pain may burn us in torture, but like a phoenix we should let ourselves be reborn... Resurrection happens the moment we decide to go on with our lives, and embracing the wisdom of our experiences as we do so.

Motherhood and Pain

For every bleeding wound that a child inflicts, a mother's heart weep in pain. For every tear that a child sheds, a mother's heart slowly breaks. Mothers always feel the pain that their children suffer from... they just don't show it knowing that they need to be strong... cause a mother's strength is a child's salvation

Intelligence, wisdom and discernment are not exactly the characteristics that have been bestowed to all. Therefore the popular choice is not always the right choice. And the decision of the majority may not necessarily be the perfect solution. :)

It'll be difficult to have a firm grasp of happiness if you stubbornly hold onto the situations that make you sad.

Safe Player vs. Cautious Risk Taker

I could still remember a few years back, I can’t imagine where I would be at the age of 31.  All I know is that five years ago, three years ago, my mind was always clouded with worries.  I was so scared of a lot of things:  making mistakes, being blamed, getting hurt and crying all over again… those usual things associated with failure. 

Failure is a fact of life that I perceived to be as something that would weaken me.  So each time I sense its threat, it became a natural instinct for me to protect myself from the pain it might inflict. No matter how promising the rewards are on the other side, I step back and turn around at the sight of a singular uncertainty.  

Ideas may run through my mind, but I would stick to the dictates of books out of fear that I may do something wrong.   Little did I know that I would barely reap anything from that approach…. there will always be something inside me that clamors in attempt to break free.  And before I know it, I found myself bored with the repetitive nature of playing safe.  Hence, I made that first step and braved those horizons beyond my comfort zones.  I started taking risks, and boy did I do so!

In taking those risks, I realized that I was right all along:  In some of those times, I made mistakes… I got blamed… I got hurt… and yes I cried a lot… just like how I anticipated it.  You see, that’s the thing about taking risks, there will never ever be anything certain about it.   But taking risks will not always drag you to dystopia… some will actually lift you to that euphoric bliss.

Those mistakes you incur from taking risks will not pin you to your downfall.  You don’t fail in life because of those mistakes.  You fail because you decide not to try all over again.  A lot of things in our lives are cycles of trials and errors.  For most of us, we immediately stop at the first loop of error that’s why we never find out how to do things right.

Stop nursing your battle scars as if they’re still fresh wounds.  Shrug off the past and try all over again.  

Go ahead and take those risks like they're vitamins... be that cautious risk taker.  You owe it to yourself. J

We all fear change.  Often times, we would rather settle in a stagnant state amidst the meager benefits we reap out from doing so.  But fate will always find a way to drag us out of our comfort zones, with a pure intent of placing us in a much better situation. 

These too shall pass...

One thing I realized, no matter how serious a problem is, in time it will be over.  And in the end what really matters is that you stand up from that fall, and continue with your journey.  Life will go on no matter what happens.  

Reconnections

In most cases, you don’t exactly have to omit a person in your life.  You just have to let go of those negative feelings that your heart associate with that person.  Yes, sometimes, it may require the need to create a distance with the other just so you can find time to reflect on everything that happened.  

But time will come, you will find yourself thinking and longing for the company of that person.  When that happens, go ahead and reach out… and let go of the fear that something wrong will happen again this time around.  Who knows, that person was just waiting for you. :)J

Lost and Gained

For every heart break, you may lose the one you have loved, but you will gain lessons that will lead you to the one who will also love you in return. :)

On Loving and Improving Yourself

Loving usually comes with pain. Either your heart gets broken or you break someone’s heart.  But nothing good will come out should you hold grudges against the opposite sex…  in doing so, it would lead you to your own downfall.  Doing so would thwart you from realizing what is wrong with you.

Whether you’re a girl who started to hate guys or whether you’re a guy who started to despise girls, maybe it’s time to reflect.  Because most likely, if that’s your way of thinking… the problem is with you.   The moment you despise the opposite sex, you’re starting to lose one of the most important things in relationships:  respect.  And besides, how can love come into your life if your heart is filled with hatred and bitterness?

When relationships fail, both parties are at fault.  It’s useless to blame the other solely.  You have your own faults.  And as long as you don’t recognize your own faults, there’s a bigger possibility for the relationships you get into to fail.

Love is a give and take relationship.  Rather than nitpicking and making sure that your prospect is the perfect match for you, try looking into how you can improve yourself to be a good match for that person.  Rather than demanding... inspire.  Change yourself… for the better.  Rather than compelling others to change, it’s better to improve yourself first.  It’s for your own personal development . J

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!  Fill your hearts with love, it can make a big difference in your life. J

Why Moving On Sometimes Hurt

Moving on is not something that can be done overnight.  It’s a phase that starts with a choice:  a decision to do so.  For some people, it takes a shorter time, for some it takes a longer period.   

Usually, the most heartbreaking sight is seeing the other person move on sooner than you.  This is because even if you still want to fight and do everything to make the relationship work… against your will, you were  compelled to give up.  

The reason why seeing someone move on hurts so bad is usually because of two things:

(1) It makes one feel that he or she was left behind

(2) It makes one question his/her worth, because the other one opted to give up, instead of doing everything to make a relationship work. 

So for those of you who are on the brink of "letting go" and "moving on", if you never shared a strong bond with the other person, I'm not going to stop you.  Go ahead.  Let go and move on.  I would even suggest you do it now.  But if the person means so much to you or if at some point in your life that person was very close to you, think twice, thrice, four times... reflect on it everyday.  Especially if the other person is doing everything to make the relationship work.  You may not have to be together again as lovers but that doesn't mean you can't be good friends.

And oh, by the way, in doing any of what I suggested, have a heart to heart talk with the person first: a heart to heart talk that is completely absent of any pretensions (this is usually the process missed in moving on and letting go).  Say what you really felt and currently feeling.  Share your fears and yes... reveal your vulnerability (after all, you've shown your "strong" side probably for a long time already)

And yes of course, pray. 

Why Fear?

Do not let the fear of pain or failure consume you. Have faith in yourself and believe that God is always guiding you. Do not fear. In those moments when you feel that you're losing your sense of direction, rest assured that God will shepherd you back.